US Soldiers Remake Telephone

Troops stationed in Afghanistan make their own cover version of Lady Gaga's "Telephone". No kidding, it's the best video on the interwebs today.. tomorrow and yesterday

As described on Salon.com:

 Strapping soldiers in combat boots and fatigues clapping their hands and wiggling their hips in a meticulous recreation of Gaga's bizarre dance moves. This isn't the begrudging performance of a bunch of tough guys who lost a bet; these dudes are letting loose and having fun, and it is a lovely sight to see. My favorite moment comes at the 2:48 mark -- you just try not to smile at this man's jolly gyrations. My only complaint (purely in the interest of accurate artistic recreation): Fellas, where are the diamond-encrusted thongs?

As the video's description on YouTube says: "Prepare yourself for a fantastical journey."

Dirty Sounding

DirtySounding.com is a website with a collection of names that sound... dirty. It's totally juvenile to laugh at this sort of thing. Good thing I'm completely juvenile!

From the obvious (anything with Anita, Neil or Dick) to classics (like Jack Goff)- it's worth a giggle to stop by!


(From someone on Facebook)

notMensa Society of Idiots

Ever wondered just how stupid you are? notMensa might be just the Society for you!

notmensa - because inside ever stupid person there is a genius trying to find their way out

By joining notmensa you will become an integral part of an interplanetary group of witless individuals who each have an IQ of less than 78.2. With hundreds of thousands of members, ranging from Demi-Gods to Part Time Alcoholics there is sure to be many who share your particular pointless hobbies and pastimes.

I opted to take the IQ test to see if I could qualify for membership.

The notmensa online IQ test for dummies.

After you complete the following I.Q. test we will provide you with a complete and accurate assessment of your intelligence quotient and a complex analysis of your personality and character.

Provided your IQ meets our stringent entry requirements you will be offered free lifetime membership of notmensa and access to all the benefits and privileges that this elitist interplanetary society provides.

According to my test results... well, I think you should head over and take the test yourself!

(From webupon.com )

Write for TOTI

Dear Loyal Readers,

I hope you have been enjoying TOTI. If you want to see it continue, you should strongly consider writing for TOTI.

I have 3 final exams in the next week and a half, and am going slightly batty. After my final final (of my entire life, I hope), I have to study harder than it's humanly possible. For 6 weeks straight. I am strongly considering going on a coffee IV, catheter, and TPN so that I never have to get up from my desk. Yes, it's that serious. :)

The other option is, I may have to take another hiatus until June 12th, 2010, the day after I am scheduled to take the most important exam of my life. If I re-start then, expect the first post to be non-sensical and full of spelling atrocities.

Write for TOTI like our hero contributors. You too, can make a difference. Sign up by emailing garbagestored[at]gmail.com.

(From WEB du Blag)

Hateris

"hey, have you seen this game? it's basically tetris, but you always get the exact piece you DON'T want. at first it's humorous, but then you want to break your computer.

http://qntm.org/files/hatetris/hatetris.html

enjoy!"


(From W.D. )

Robert Sinclair: Christ, What An Asshole

Robert Sinclair: Christ, What An Asshole is a collection of comics re-captioned with the punchline, "Christ, what an asshole." The author explains:

"It was recently theorized that all New Yorker cartoons could be captioned
with “Christ, what an asshole” without compromising their comedic value.

I discovered this is true of virtually all comics, old and new:"

(From the buzzfeed )

Chan Ho Park Answers His Critics

Chan Ho Park is a relief pitcher for the NY Yankees. After performing horribly in the first game of the 2010 season, he pitched 3 innings of score-less relief in Game 3. Reporters asked him what was the difference, and he answered with brutal honesty.

I'm trying to assure myself that's it's okay to laugh at cultural mis-understandings, but I think to be honest I feel guilty and racist laughing at this. I will entertain thoughts in the comments section.
(From emails)

I Ate This

I Ate This is a Flickr group.

It's a new hobby- people who snap a pic of everything they eat.

Flickr has various rules about sharing pics- so you will have to click over to view the pics. It's oddly entertaining. Some are pics of dishes prepared at home; some are dishes from restaurants; some are quick snacks.

Just for kicks, I tried this on my own blog. So I have my own pics of what I ate to share with you instead! It is still strange to me that people enjoy taking a pic of everything they eat... but at the same time, taking those pics is an easy food journal and sharing those pics is a form of accountability and a strange kind of intimate sharing.



(From NY Times article)

Movie Title Stills Collection

Movie Title Stills Collection s a strangely enchanting site by Christian Annyas to archive the title sequences of many, many movies. In his own words, "

I've seen a lot of movies over the years, and to prove I've sat through at least the first ten minutes of them I started making screenshots of the titles. Then my computer crashed and I almost lost them all. To save them for future generations I created this little website."

There you go.
PS: The site is very graphics-intensive and requires a fast internet connection.

(From metafilter)

ENEMY CAMP 2010

ENEMY CAMP 2010 is an episode of This American Life that focuses on people working behind enemy lines, or against former allies. It is very interesting. Sometimes TAL can be hit or miss, and this time, I thought Act I was definitely a hit. In their own words:

"PROLOGUE.
Behind enemy lines, sometimes people get confused about whose side they're on... and how to fight the enemy. (2 minutes)

ACT I. CONFESSION.
Patrick Wall was a special kind of monk. He was a fixer. The Catholic church sent him to problem parishes where priests had been removed because of scandal. His job was to come in, keep events from going public and smooth things over until a permanent replacement priest was found. But after four different churches in four years, after covering up for pedophiles and adulterers and liars and embezzlers he decided to make a change. Carl Marziali tells his story. (21 minutes)"

If you listen all the way through, I thought the line about how to have a very long conversation with an 8-year-old was delightful.


(From my iPod's auto-downloading podcasts)

Haik U Glenn Beck

In case you missed this last week, Haik U Glenn Beck was a website set up to reprimand talk show polemic commentator and human asshat Glenn Beck for instructing viewers to leave churches that preach social justice.

The Twitterstorm protest was orchestrated by New York-based philanthropy group Jewish Funds for Justice. Beck's Twitter account was bombarded with haikus like the ones below. These are the top 3 rated haikus:

And Jesus said to
All his hungry disciples
"Hands off my fish, chumps"
Submitted by drugdevo.

Bend it like Beck - and
Kick the words around until
Justice is "Just-Us"
Submitted by sam slate.s


Give me your fearful
Your easily influenced
Oh- and a chalkboard
Submitted by Laura Silverman.

Enjoy!

(From KB)

TED Talk: Jane McGonigal: Gaming can make a better world

Jane McGonical: Gaming can make a better world is a TED talk by this lady wants you to save the world by playing games. She takes a while to ground her far-fetched ideas (20 minutes), but in the end makes her point. Gamers, unite.

(From my iPod Subscription)

Five Great (and Still Lost) Treasures!

We've all visited the beach and inevitably there's those two or three souls searching for their big find: buried treasure. Now, I'll admit I've gone out with a friend and found a few random pieces of metal, but I've never fallen victim to the illusion that I would find a secret chest of gold.

Apparently, the illusion may not be. A Whole Lot of Nothing is a blog that has put together five secret caches that are still missing and can be yours for the taking.

From a hidden gold and silver cache in the hills of Ohio to Captain Kidd's hidden treasure chest located somewhere on the Connecticut River, if you're willing to put in the work, the payoff promises to be quite rewarding.

While there may be something to these wives' tales, the best part for me are the hilarious stories of treasure hunters' schemes for getting the treasure. So, don't lose too much sleep dreaming over your treasures.

(From A Whole Lot of Nothing via Neatorama)

Growing Up Gaga

To close out fabulous women week, Growing Up Gaga is a New York Entertainment magazine article by Vanessa Grigoriadis that explores the origin of the hottest new pop star.

Love the article, love the pictures, hate the multi-page set-up.

(From Kottke)

Snorg Tees

I'm really not one to provide free advertising for a company. But Snorg Tees is just a lot of fun to spend time perusing. First, the tees are frakin' hilarious. Second, I giggle at the everyday models in their faux-Abercrombie-esque poses. With everything from nerd humor to references to TV shows and movies... there is something for everyone at Snorg Tees. And I, personally, end up spending a nice chunk of time perusing and guffawing whenever I stop by for a visit.

(From )

TED Talk: Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn [NSFW]

Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn is a TED talk by entrepreneur Cindy Gallop on the detrimental effects of hard core porn on heterosexual interpersonal relationships. In it, she launches her site, Make Love Not Porn, a site that redefines normal.

The commentary on the Ted talk includes a lot of annoyingly mis-informed and un-enlightened internet trolling, but don't let that detract from the experience: skip it altogether. Enjoy!


(From yesterday's TOTI)

Bold Color, Small Space: The Black Apartment | Cindy Gallop

Bold Color, Small Space: The Black Apartment | Cindy Gallop is a vimeo video by Gary Nadeau for for Dwell magazine. This lady is nuts. I love her.
(From random online clicking)

超級星光大道 20100402 pt.18/24 林育群-I will always love you

超級星光大道 20100402 pt.18/24 林育群-I will always love you超級星光大道 20100402 pt.18/24 林育群-I will always love you is a youtube video showing a Chinese contestant tackling Whitney Houston's signature ballad. I don't care if it's fake, it's like watching a hippo land a perfect 10 on the uneven bars. You can't NOT watch.

Skip to the minute mark and enjoy!

(From SG)

Caitlyn can rock a todo list.

Caitlyn can rock a todo list is an mp3 blog for busy people. She regularly posts zip files that are the equivalent of a mix CD, with short to-the-point impressions. Consider it your indie-music cocktail chatter cheat sheet.

One metafilter poster called it a music blog for busy people.

Enjoy!

(From Metafilter)

Candidate for a Pullet Surprise!

Candidate for a Pullet Surprise is a poem written by Jerrold H. Zar, Professor Emeritus at Northern Illinois University. However, Dr. Zar has had quite a time keeping his name attached to this wonderful bit of poetry, especially in this digital age.

The poem will fit through any spell checker just fine without throwing up red flags, but then, that's the beauty of this little piece of genius. Enjoy it, don't forget to proofread, and remember: Jerrold. H. Zar.

Stanzas 1-3:

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.

Full Text

(From Eric Shackle's ebook, prompted by postsecret)

The Two Dollar Tattoo Project

The Two Dollar Tattoo Project is a challenge to tattoo artists where all artists participating will be expected to create unique works of tattoo art executed with only a single needle and whose final product size is expected to fill the space of a "toonie", a Canadian two-dollar coin.

Example: Chibi Chthulu. How can you not love this?

PS: Happy Easter!
(From Metafilter)

Not In Our Town

Not In Our Town is a national movement that started with a PBS documentary and has grown since then. It caught my attention when I came across some YouTube videos of high school students demonstrating in favor of love and diversity and acceptance when faced with Fred Phelps and crew coming to protest their school or community center.




(From )

Flame

Flame is an online java-based drawing tool by peter blaškovič that lets you make spectacular drawings with very little knowledge. Try it out!

(From Kottke)

Itamar Franco's Punk Bangs

Itamar Franco's Punk Bangs, as evinced in this wikipedia entry, is the best thing on the Interwebs today. By best I mean worst. I mean look at that thing. It's so big. And standing straight up. I would say they found the worst picture of Brazil's former president in order to embarrass him, but actually, as I recall he actually ran around like that. Oh the early 90s were such a wacky time.

It's bold, and it will survive a hurricane. No joke.

(From random clicking )

Number Quotes

Number quotes is a site that helps you beef up your arguments with numbers. Five out of seven imaginary people agree that it sounds more impressive when you punctuate arguments with made up fractions.


(From Wilmar)

Boyfriend Doesn't Have Ebola. Probably. *UPDATED*

Boyfriend Doesn't Have Ebola. Probably. *UPDATED* is a blog entry on Hyperbole and a Half, which proposes a new medical pain rating pictorial chart.

I totally want to cut this out and place it over the standard-use one. I hope the kids aren't too scared. Sigh.

(From Buzzfeed)

That's using your dipstick!

We've all seen the Castrol commercial where the Scottish man goes around whacking people with an oil dipstick. Well, oil is about the only thing this post has in common with that commercial. Oh, and the stick part.

Here are some great and odd food from around the world you can find a la kebob!

How about Goat Lungs or Seahorse?

No? Maybe you'll enjoy some delicious tentacles!

Not for you, then maybe just a lovely Smore? Or some Hot chocolate? Mmmm...yummy!!

(From Neatorama)

Taberinos

Taberinos is a simple-yet-addictive online flash game set to a demure tango. It's a cross between a pool table, spiderwebs, and a load of heroin. Basically every time the ball knocks into a white line, it disappears. Your goal is to make them all disappear. However, you have a limited number of shots, and regular nodes, angry nodes, and more to deal with.

I'm not sure why exactly, but the physics of this game seems ever-so-slightly off to me. It wants you to do things like hit tight corners right away.

Seriously, I wasted all afternoon on this already, and I'm only up to level 12. OMG I hope I don't have to drop out of school because of AN ONLINE FLASH GAME. And BTW... how do these people score HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of points on this thing? How?! Clearly I'm not using the angry nodes to their full potential.

Enjoy!

(From Kottke)

TubeGuitar

TubeGuitar is a website dedicated to helping people learn to play the guitar. I don't play the guitar. At all. And I would need at least some guitar playing knowledge to really use this website. However, I still find the videos fun to watch and if I had any clue how to play, I know I could use this resource to help me learn some cool songs!

(From me! )

Nine surprisingly useful single serving sites

Nine surprisingly useful single serving sites is a list article on Royal Pingdom describing the best single serving sites. I like how wholly visual and useful these sites are. Examples include "What time is it there?" "Stopwatch" and a site very similar to previous TOTI winner "Umbrella Today?." A+.

(From researching single serving sites)

That's What Bea Said

That's What Bea Said is a single-serving site that feeds you quotes by recently deceased LGBT icon, actress, comedienne and singer Bea Arthur. Bea is perhaps best known for her role as Dorothy Zbornak on the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls.

Also, I think you're supposed to pronounce it BEE like the insect. Buzz buzz.

Also, that's it.
(From random interwebs searches)

Reality Check

Reality Check is an allegedly user-generated ad for tampon/pads/liners. It mocks the soft-focus, spinning-women-frolicking-on-the-beach current motif that is used to hawk feminine hygiene products. Quite artfully executed too, I must say. Good work.

TMI: But can it make me switch from plastics to my least-favorite cotton-based variety brand? Only time will tell. Enjoy!

(From Buzzfeed)

The Indian Condom Song

The Indian Condom Song is a Indian Bollywood dance about using condoms. Safe sex and bolllywood dancing.. what else could you want?

(From )

Fiverr

Fiverr is the financial equivalent to "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" as what will people do for five dollars? The answer ranges from writing quasi-personalized love songs (be they ballads, Irish, hip hop, jingle, etc), giving medical advice, to answering any question on Dubai.

The Wall Street Jounal did a better job of explaining Fiverr than I ever could. But the quick run down is that all posting are fixed at five dollars so the bored/unemployed can make a quick buck while you receive some enjoyment for what's less than a movie ticket.

Fair deal, I say. And I'm incredibly tempted to buy "I will write and sing you a love song on youtube for $5." It's the narcissist in me.

(From Cam)

Stereomood

Stereomood is a streaming internet radio site that, provides "music that best suits your mood and your activities." Click on the mood and listen away.

A playlist appears and you can click on any song to hear it. You can skip, pause, and register free. Enjoy!

(From Metafilter)

Pictures From A Taxi

Pictures From A Taxi is a blog that simply posts a daily picture- a cab driver shares a simple image from his journey around New York City. Some are simple, some are fun, some are touching.

What I love is that with a single picture, he really captures the moments that make NYC what it is.

I also recommend his other blog- Cabs Are For Kissing- for some great writing about the adventures of a seasoned taxi driver.

(From: random luck in a blog search )

Grammar Challenge!

Grammar Challenge! is a post on HTML Giant (the internet literature magazine blog of the future) by Amy McDaniel. It challenges the best English language readers and writers among us to find the errors in 10 seemingly correct sentences.

The challenge states, in screaming caps, "IF NO ONE HAS YET TAUGHT YOU HOW TO AVOID OR REPAIR CLAUSES LIKE THE FOLLOWING, YOU SHOULD, IN MY OPINION, THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT SUING SOMEBODY, PERHAPS AS CO-PLAINTIFF WITH WHOEVER’S PAID YOUR TUITION."

Not going to lie, there are some toughies. Here they are:

1. He and I hardly see one another.

2. I’d cringe at the naked vulnerability of his sentences left wandering around without periods and the ambiguity of his uncrossed “t”s.

3. My brother called to find out if I was over the flu yet.

4. I only spent six weeks in Napa.

5. In my own mind, I can understand why its implications may be somewhat threatening.

6. From whence had his new faith come?

7. Please spare me your arguments of why all religions are unfounded and contrived.

8. She didn’t seem to ever stop talking.

9. As the relationship progressed, I found her facial tic more and more aggravating.

10. The Book of Mormon gives an account of Christ’s ministry to the Nephites, which allegedly took place soon after Christ’s resurrection.

Click through for the answers, and more.

(From More Kottke)

Jimmy Surprises Bieber Fan

You might recall a little post about a 3 Year Old Crying Over Justin Bieber.

Did you catch the follow up?

Jimmy Kimmel surprised the girl and her family with a face to face visit from the dream boy himself!



(From my own awesomeness)

Accident Sketch

Accident Sketch is a site that helps you explain what happened in a traffic accident via pictures. Unfortunately, it only works with Mozilla Firefox or Internet Explorer. Ostensibly you could use this to show your insurance company what happened with a little more sophistication than your usual stick-figure-cars-scrawled-on-a-paper-napkin. Not sure if anyone has done this, though. The site also seems geared to a European audience.

So okay, it's probably not that useful, but basically it's just fun to play with the equivalent of paper dolls online. Enjoy!

(From JKottke)

70 Million by Hold Your Horses

The mostly male Swedish band Hold Your Horses dressed in drag to re-create traditional classical art for their music video.

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

Feministing writes,

Seeing these men adopting the roles of both men and women in classical paintings really serves to highlight the Guerrilla Girls' points about how women frequently appear in art: naked. Another lesson in why drag can be so powerful. It really makes you see gender norms in a new way.

Plus, seeing semi-naked Swedes is just fun. Anyone remember this? (think of it as a 2-for-1 TOTI)









(From ) Lindsay 

Papercraft: Simply Cut and Paste!

I remember getting those plastic models of my favorite cars as a kid and spending the day or weekend clipping the pieces apart and either clicking or gluing them together. It was great fun and I always guarded those models with my life.

Well, those days may be gone for me, but sites like Tektonten Papercraft and Cubeecraft are bringing back some of that fun. The best part is that this time, I don't feel like I have to threaten the lives of family and friends as these models are made of paper.

A couple of neat projects from Tektonten:

A few of my favorites from Cubeecraft:

There are several papercraft sites out there, but the two mentioned previously are the first two where I discovered this wonderful crafting hobby. Below, I've listed a few other good sites. Some use the Pepakura Designer to create the cutouts, but you can download the Pepakura Viewer here.

• IRP Papercraft
• Pepakura's Gallery
• Boxpunx
• Instructables
• Paper Shipwright
• Pyra:Minds
• The Toymaker
• Readymech
• AtomicMonkeyLTD
  

(From Tektonten, Cubeecraft)

The 65 Sketchiest Easter Bunnies

The 65 Sketchiest Easter Bunnies is a self-explanatory picture article of bunny costumes frightening little children or their viewers.

(From Buzzfeed)

Jeff Sheng Photography

Jeff Sheng was recently a topic in the press when his "Don't Ask Don't Tell" series was released. There are 2 volumes to this series- a collection of service men and women who volunteered to be photographed in uniform with their faces hidden and their stories told.

I was drawn in to his other works when I visited his website.

The "Fearless" series highlights college athletes who are gay and live out.

Most moving for me was "Revolutions of Memory." Sheng chose several locations and takes a unique turn on the classic panorama. He really focuses on the perspective of the person connected to the place. I was deeply moved by "Where Matthew Lay Dying."

(From random online clicking )

Harmony

Harmony is an online drawing java application by Mr.doob (Ricardo Cabello) that allows your sketches to look all tricked out with shading, and fur, and circles, and other odd brushes.

The metafilter post about it claimed it made your shitty drawings look less shitty. This is a controversial statement, but it did bring me joy.

Enjoy!

(From Mefi)

Wilbur Sargunaraj wants a Love Marriage

Mr. Sargunaraj seems to be every hipster's dream; I'm not entirely convinced he's not the product of some snickering kids in Williamsburg (or Tamil Nadu's equivalent). But he's just so delightful and genuine you have to kinda go with it.

For added kicks, check out Wilbur's website (the amazingly titled http://www.wilbur.asia, I kid you not), where he gives you plenty of little life tips and fun self-descriptors such as "If you like something fresh in the music industry- this is it!! Guaranteed! "He further defines his music style as "vocal chanting" (isn't all chanting vocal?). That said, even Roger Ebert likes him, so it can't be all bad ;)

Second video highlight? Blog Song, below:

(From Teej)

Layer Tennis: Game, Set, Match!

Layer Tennis sounds like playing tennis on several courts at once, right? Sounds difficult and nearly impossible, but that's not what it is at all. Layer Tennis is actually a competition, a live design project if you will, between two artists each week with each artist (usually working with Photoshop, hence the play on layers) vying for a spot in the final round. Two seasons have completed, and the third season just beginning.

Layer Tennis was started by Coudal Partners. What, or who, is Coudal Partners you ask? Well, in their own words, Coudal Partners is "a design, advertising and interactive studio in Chicago, as an ongoing experiment in web publishing, design and commerce."

If you'd like to see all of the past matches, which I highly recommend (they're amazing!), then
check out the Layer Tennis Archives.

Below are a few samples from the current season's matchups.

Hamid vs. Javanrouh: A Photographic Exhibition Match


Vinh vs. Felton: An Exhibition Match


And my favorite so far, Bruhn vs. Simonson: A Typographic Exhibition Match


(From Coudal)