How long could you survive chained to a bed with a velociraptor?

Tonight's main question could be "Will you be my Valentine?" But there's folly in that query as the true question should be "How long could you survive chained to a bed with a velociraptor?" I've been trying to answer this question since I saw the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park and concurred that I would have shamelessly wet myself. Then I saw The Land Before Time series and realized I could have taken on those sissy dinosaurs.

But since the days of LiveJournal and their myriad online personality quizzes, i.e. Which finger are you? What is your birth color?, people have been trying to figure out who they are when the critical question was "How long could you survived chained to the hip with a carnivorous dinosaur?

Two decades later, we have an answer. Finally.

(From Cam)