How long could you survive chained to a bed with a velociraptor?

Tonight's main question could be "Will you be my Valentine?" But there's folly in that query as the true question should be "How long could you survive chained to a bed with a velociraptor?" I've been trying to answer this question since I saw the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park and concurred that I would have shamelessly wet myself. Then I saw The Land Before Time series and realized I could have taken on those sissy dinosaurs.

But since the days of LiveJournal and their myriad online personality quizzes, i.e. Which finger are you? What is your birth color?, people have been trying to figure out who they are when the critical question was "How long could you survived chained to the hip with a carnivorous dinosaur?

Two decades later, we have an answer. Finally.

(From Cam)

Bacon Torch

"Grease Fire: Pure oxygen flows from a metal pipe through a core of baked prosciutto, generating a grease fire hot enough to ignite steel and burn a hole clear through this pan. A wrapping of less-flammable uncooked prosciutto focuses the flame into an intense bacon-plasma torch"

Who knew bacon had so many uses? Apparently, this website has devised a way to use the fat in bacon to create an uber intense grease-fire:

"Bacon is fattening because it contains a lot of chemical energy tied up in its proteins, and especially in its fat. You can release that energy either by digesting it or by burning it with a healthy supply of oxygen. The challenge isn't creating the heat; it's engineering a bacon structure strong enough to withstand the stress of a 5,000°F bacon plasma flame.








Skip to 1:30 for some bacon torch action!!

A+ interwebs!

(Written by Guy)